If you’ve been sexually assaulted or raped, it’s important to get help as soon as possible and to make sure you’re somewhere safe. It’s not your fault and there are lots of people that can help you.
We recommend that you first contact / visit your nearest Sexually Assault and Referral Centre (SARC). You will be able to get immediate treatment and care as well as specialist support. If you are in a Virgin Care service area, you’re nearest SARCs are:
North & North East Lincolnshire: CasaSuite 01472 305037
Oldham, Bury & Rochdale: St Mary’s Centre 0161 2766515
Teesside: Helen Brittan House 01642 516888
You can also get help from sexual health clinics, young people’s centre like Brook and your GP. For urgent medical care and support, call 999 (or 112 from a mobile) and ask for an ambulance or go straight to your nearest Accident & Emergency department.
If you want to report this to the police, call 101 (or 999 in an emergency). If you would prefer not to contact the police, you can still access support from SARCs.
Legally, only a man can commit rape because penetration has to be with a penis. However, both women and men can be raped and this can also happen within a relationship or marriage. If a man puts his penis into your vagina, anus or mouth without your consent (you agreeing and wanting this), this is rape. Sexual assault is when any male or female intentionally touches you sexually without your consent.
If you’ve been sexually assaulted or raped, it’s important to help as soon as possible and to make sure you’re somewhere safe. It’s not your fault and there are lots of people that can help you.
We recommend that you first contact / visit your nearest Sexually Assault and Referral Centre (SARC). You will be able to get immediate treatment and care as well as specialist support. If you are in a Virgin Care service area, you’re nearest SARCs are:
North & North East Lincolnshire: CasaSuite 01472 305037
Oldham, Bury & Rochdale: St Mary’s Centre 0161 2766515
Teesside: Helen Brittan House 01642 516888
You can also get help from sexual health clinics, young people’s centre like Brook and your GP. For urgent medical care and support, call 999 (or 112 from a mobile) and ask for an ambulance or go straight to your nearest Accident & Emergency department.
If you want to report this to the police, call 101 (or 999 in an emergency). If you would prefer not to contact the police, you can still access support from SARCs.
We’re all attracted to different people and this isn’t something we can control. People who are gay or lesbian are attracted to people of the same sex. Some people are also bisexual which means they are attracted to both men and women. There are lots of different sexual preferences so don’t worry about fitting into a type of sexuality.
Not necessarily. A lot of people will experience pain during sex at some point in their lives for lots of different reasons. Your genitals are very sensitive and sex can be sore if you have sharp nails, don’t use enough lubrication or are too rough.
Pain can also be a sign that you have an STI, or thrush, a urinary tract infection like cystitis or another medical problems like Vulvodynia. If you’re experiencing pain during sex, speak to a doctor or nurse so they can help you find out why. Tell your partner too so they know what does and doesn’t hurt you.
No matter how far you’ve gone, you always have the right to say no. Even if you were the one who asked or initiated sex. You always have a choice. There are lots of ways to get out of having sex but it’s normally best to just be honest and say you’re not ready or you don’t feel like it tonight. Your partner should respect your decision. If you’re under 25, the sexual health charity Brook have some excellent advice on dealing with sexual pressure.
As long as it takes for both you and your partner to want and to feel comfortable having sex. What’s right for one person is not right for another so don’t rush into anything. If your partner won’t wait or is putting pressure on you to have sex, they’re probably not the right person for you. You should always have a choice about whether or not to have sex. If you both decide that you want to have sex and feel comfortable about this, make sure you use contraception and a condom. This is especially important with a new partner when you know less about them and their sexual history.
You’ll know when you’re ready for sex when both you and your partner feel comfortable about having sex and it is your choice. You should never feel pressured into having sex. You’re legally able to have sex in the UK when you’re 16 but this certainly doesn’t mean you’re going to be ready for sex at 16. And you shouldn’t feel like you’re the only person not having sex at your age, especially if you’re younger.
Only one in three people aged 16-20 in the UK have had vaginal sex. So ignore the pressure and do what’s right for you. If your partner has already had sex but you haven’t, this does not mean that you have to sex with them. They should be happy to wait until you’re ready.
Sex isn’t just penetrative vaginal sex. It can also include oral sex, anal sex and masturbation. Safer sex does not mean less pleasurable sex. It simply means taking a couple of steps to reduce the risk of your body fluids and partner’s body fluids (semen, vaginal fluids and blood) from coming into contact.
No form of sexual contact is entirely without risk of catching an STI or having an unwanted pregnancy. However, you can massively reduce your risk with a few easy steps. These include reducing your number of partners, always using a condom, making sure the condom you use has a quality kite mark, avoid sharing sex toys, not letting alcohol or drugs impair your decisions and only ever having sex if you want to. To find out more read our Safe Sex Guide.